daily lessons

Christmas is definitely in full swing here.. it’s actually been swinging since we arrived! Warm blessings to you all this year, I hope the holidays find you stuffed with things that make you feel at home; a holiday banquet meal, thoughtful gifts and family.

Just the other day, I had a very important conversation with one of my good friends that caused me to pause. I was torn in the middle of a decision where the end resulted in my choosing of one, only one among two very good options. And in the spirit of Christmas, I think I wanted it all! For those of you who know me, this is one of the things I dread to do, I’ve often opted for many options and attempted to do various “good” things at once and in many cases, I’ve failed, resulting in hurting those I love & that love me. But the principle that I’ve missed, and had discovered again in this conversation, is the importance and the need for conviction. The kind of conviction that comes from God, that rules our lives, guides & protects us in our decisions, etc. From this, I make decisions based on what would honor him rather than what would benefit me, or appease others, or bring me the best experience. It is easy to live my life reacting to situations, in this case, simply reacting to decisions that I need to make. I’m just reacting, not thinking or asking God what he wants. This method is done without conviction, that’s why it’s so easy.

Living here (so far) has brought this blemish to my attention. Just as it was said to me, I have to realize that when I say yes to something, that it also means I’m saying no to something else. When I deny that I am weak in this area, I am saying that I can make decisions in my own strength & wisdom and this is just not true of me. How do I include the poor, the marginalized, and the oppressed in my life? Where and with whom do I spend my time with? If I am honest, I do not always remember these questions when opportunities are presented to me one by one, it is when they collide and demand my attention that I am more aware of this weakness & must rise in the name of conviction. It is good for me to wrestle with decisions because then the struggle brings out more questions in me. Just like the conversation I was in, it was the questions that provoked the answer in me. I hope this makes sense.